Teenager's Messy Rooms: How Do I Get Them to Clean Up Their Room?

I can remember the days of being a teenager and a messy room. Like many teenagers, my room fared no better. Homework, books, clothing, and other miscellaneous items were strewn on the furniture and on the floor. It literally looked like a tornado swept through it. It was probably one the biggest battles my parents had with me. Unfortunately, the question of how to solve the problem also became a source of disagreement between them. Since this seems to be a wide-spread problem, how do you motivate a teenager to clean their messy room?

My mom's solution was to incessantly nag me about my messy room. Frustrated, she would ask my dad, "Have you seen the mess in her room? What are you going to do about it?" My dad, on the other hand, had more important things to worry about. Disliking the constant arguments, he wanted to ignore it. Although my mom wasn't happy about it, together, they decided I would keep the door shut to my bedroom at all times. Did this work? As you can guess, no, the problem did not change.

In looking back at the problem, was I rebellious? Did I not care? Was I lazy? The answer to the first two questions is no. The answer to the third question is yes. However, even though I was lazy, even moreso, it was a problem of not knowing how to organize.

I believe most people, even teenagers, take pride in a clean, orderly living environment. Deep-down, teenagers don't really want to live in a mess. However, just as it is with adults, some problems seem overwhelming, and they don't know how to solve the problem. Part of parenting is trying to help your child or teenager solve problems. So, how can parents help their teenager avoid the messy room syndrome?

Here are some ideas that may be helpful:

• Shutting the door is not a solution to the problem. If you ignore the problem, the room will become messier and messier. Eventually your teenager will be so overwhelmed by the mess, they won't even attempt to clean it. Living in a cluttered, disorganized room is not good for teenager's self-esteem or their study habits. As a parent, it's your job to teach them how to clean and organize. If you don't do it, no one else will, and more than likely, being cluttered and disorganized will follow them through life. This may not only affect their marriage, but their performance on a job too.
• First, sit down and calmly talk to your teenager about the problem. Rather than nag them, ask them what their biggest problems are in trying to keep their room clean.
• Secondly, after talking, assess the room with them. To keep a clean, organized room, every item needs to have home. Too many homeless items equals clutter. Do they have enough storage places? If not, this problem needs to be solved first. Either buy them or make more storage places. Shelves can added on the walls to store their knick knacks. DVD/CD racks can hold movies and music. A book case can store books in addition to showcasing other little knicknacks. Magazine holders can store magazines (this is especially useful for teenage girls). Make up boxes or a cosmetic bag can store all the makeup. Cups can hold brushes and combs. Small, clear, food containers can hold jewelry, hair supplies, etc. You can save clear, plastic food jars for these objects too. Plastic storage crates can hold a variety of items.
• Homework can also be a problem. Have you ever noticed how some teenager's rooms have school papers laying all over? If this is a problem with your teenager, help them organize their school papers. Buy them a file cabinet or a small, portable filing box. Help them sort through their papers. The papers they don't want can be thrown away. The papers they want to save can be sorted by subject in files folders.
• Now that they have enough storage places, help them organize their room. Just like they do on television shows about organization, create three boxes: items to keep, items to discard, and items they are undecided about. Encourage them to either give away or throw away the things they don't need anymore. Throwing things can be difficult though. If they are having problems doing this, remind them that the more they have, the more things they have to pick up and clean. Help them try to envision how nice a clean room would be. To facilate this process, maybe you could let them put the items they don't want anymore on a garage sale and keep the money.
• While you are organizing miscellaneous items, help them organize their drawers and closet too. Closet organizers with shelfs are available at most discount stores. Label the shelves so they get used to putting away the clothes in the same place each time.
• Rather than have things on the dresser and chest of drawers, keep the tops cleaned off. If you encourage this, hopefully they will get out of the habit of cluttering up the tops.
• If they don't have a desk and the room is big enough, this may be good time to purchase one if you can afford it. A desk not only gives them a place to sit down and study, but it will also store pencils, pens, erasers, calculators, rulers, art supplies, glue, etc. Plastic tackle boxes are also a good container for storing art and craft supplies.
• To reduce trash, place trash baskets in strategic spots.
• If they have an upstairs bedroom, keep a cleaning tote filled with all the cleaning supplies they will need to clean their bedroom upstairs. By doing this, everything will be ready to go, and they won't have to search for things.
• Give each child/teenager a laundry hamper or clothes basket to put their dirty landry in. Teach them to wash their own laundry. They will be far likelier to take care of their clothes this way

Once they do start keeping their room cleaner, notice it. Praise them profusely. As a reward, if you can afford it, tell them if they keep their room up for a designated period of time mutually decided upon, they can redecorate their room.

Hopefully, some of these ideas will create a cleaner and more peaceful household. However, after organizing the room, if they still will not keep it clean and organized, give them a deadline, and if they don't meet the deadline, tell them you are going to clean it. Most teenagers do not want parents going through their room. If that doesn't seem to bother them, and you do have to clean it, either deduct the cost of you cleaning the room out their allowance if they receive one, or start taking away priviliges. You know your teenager the best, take away the privileges that mean the most to them. Computer time? Cell phone? Car usuage? Just remember, nagging does not improve the situation. If they will not do it, tell them what the consequence will be ahead of time. If you do have to implement a consequence, just do it and walk away without fighting. Don't give in to whining, crying, begging, yelling, or whatever tactic they use. Just like with any child, be consistent so they know what to expect.