Building Teenage Self Esteem in Girls

Basically, self-esteem is the opinion one has of themself. People develop their self-esteem through their experiences in the world around them and how other people react to them. Consequently, parents can have a big influence on their child's self-esteem. When parenting a teenager, teen self esteem can determine whether they will choose postive paths or negative paths for themselves.

Low self-esteem is very common in teenage girls. According to a recent Dove study on self-esteem in teenage girls, seven out of ten girls between the ages of 8 through 17 felt they didn't measure up in one way or another. Unfortunately, a low self-esteem can impact almost area of your daughter's life.

Building self-esteem in a teen may be one of the most important things you do as a parent. At the Univeristy of Illinois at Urbana, researchers found a correleation between a negative self-image and damaging behaviors. Teens with a negative self-esteem may be more at risk for peer pressure; early, unprotected sex; eating disorders; suicide; alcohol and drug abuse; and other psychological problems.

In a Canadian National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth, researchers found that girls with a low self--esteem at 12 or 13 were more likely to have had sex at 14 or 15 than a girl with a strong self-esttem. In contrast, the opposite was true for boys. Unfortunately, early sexual activity puts young teenage girls more at risk for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Furthermore, it tends to further erode their self-esteem. Consequently, parents should discourage early sexual activity.

In addition to the risk for early sex, at this age, it is very easy for body image problems and eating disorders to develop in teen girls. By the age of 13, 53% of girls are unhappy with their body image, and by the time they reach 17 years of age, this figure jumps up to 78%. In a 2000 Harvard Study called Fat Talk, they found that 86% of teenage girls were on a diet. Even more disturbing, according to the National Eating Disorders Association, 51% of nine and ten year old girls felt better about themselves when they were on a diet.

Would you believe that 11% of all alcohol consumed in America is consumed by teenagers. One of the main reasons teens turn to substance abuse is a low self-esteem. Typically, they use drugs and alcohol to feel good or feel accepted by their peers. Consequently, teens are less likely to turn to these behaviors if they have a high self-esteem.

Building your teen's self esteem isn't hard; it's just a matter of common sense. The best way to raise their self esteem is to treat them as you would want to be treated. The following suggestions are helpful:

• Unconditional love - Let your daughter know while you may not like her actions, you love her.
• Open communication - Open communication is one of the most important factors in helping your daughter raise her self esteem. If you can't talk with her, you're not going to get very far.
• Offer constructive criticism rather than negative criticism
• Don't forget to praise
• Make time for them
• Be a postivie role model - One of the most important things you can do, especailly for a teenage girl, is provide a positive role model. At this age of body changes, teens are particularly sensitive to the way they look. If you criticize yourself, they will learn from you.
• Active parenting by the father - Fathers can have a big influence on whether teenage girls develop a positive self-esteem. Not only do father's actions influence a daughter's self-esteem, experts have found that fathers can influence future romantic relationships positively or negatively by the way they interact with their daughter during childhood. In addition to influencing their daughter's future relationships, one study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that a father's presence in the home affected how early their daughter entered puberty and how early they began dating and participating in sex.
• Set up activities your child can excel in - Encourage them to participate in activities and take an interest in what they're doing.
• Provide opportunities to volunteer - By encouraging your teenage to volunteer, it broadens their experience of the world by exposing themselves to people less fortunate than they are and makes them feel good inside.

Negative criticism may be one of most damaging acts a parent can do regardless of a child's age. While it's easy to give negative criticism, it is harder to give constructive critism. When talking with your daughter, avoid complaining, condemning, ridiculing, scolding, shouting, insulting, and humiliating. Instead, focus on why the behavior is wrong not the person. Try to ask for their input not just talk at them. Think about what you're going to say before you speak. If you do this, you will find your conversations are more constructive.

As you can see, helping your daughter develop a positive teen self image can be one of the most important tasks a parent can do. Unfortunately, a low self esteem can permeate almost all areas of life. Although instilling a postive self esteem should begin early, it is never too late to begin. By helping your daughter develop a postive self esteem, she will grow into a healthy, happy, successful adult.